This is the last one, I promise.

I won't show another, but this is funny.

More Trunk Monkey

This one is for you Beth

This is great, we all need a "Trunk Monkey".

I've been Invited...

Well here we go, I was up late last night doing research.  I blame my sister.  I am now in a fantasy football league.  This clearly is going to occupy some of my time.  She gets me to join yesterday and my "draft" is today.  How can I prepare?  There is no time to procrastinate then cram.  I'm just not ready to cram without the procrastination.  It's the calm before the storm.  I put everything off before doing whatever it is.  Needless to say I'm uncomfortable.

I guess I could look at this whole situation another way.  I put off joining a league so long that there is no more time to even join this frustration.  The last few weeks of not being in a league was overtly procrastinating.  Rubbish.  One can't procrastinate retroactively. (Damn, I really tried to use "rubbish" and a hyphenated word in the same blog entry.  Retroactively should be hyphenated.)   

Anyway, now my Sunday mornings will be split between "The Sports Reporters" and updating my roster before "the big game" starts.  That does it, I'm not cooking breakfast!

And...

Tropical Storm Fay was not so bad.  All that preparation now has to be taken care of, I hate taking down the shutters more than putting them up.  They're kind of like Christmas lights, if you don't put them back in some sort of order, it'll take forever the next time you need them.

  

Because of the shutters, waking up with no light in the bedroom whatsoever makes it easy to sleep until your back hurts from being horizontal too long (partly because I hate my bed, but my bitches about the "Select Comfort" bed is for another entry).  

I want to know why every tree frog in my neighborhood in unison sound off when the rain and wind pause in a major storm.  

We did loose power for a while, fortunately it was from about 3 am until 8 am.  I noticed we lost power because even in the time of night it's just hot in Florida, especially in south Florida. I did wake up briefly to desperately kick off the covers.  I'm not complaining about the heat, don't get me wrong.   I hate being cold so much, I have relinquished all rights to complain about the heat.  My Grandfather once said he would rather be cold than hot due to the fact you can always put something more on. Thank whoever you thank that I was not around when he was really, really hot.  I told myself long ago, when I have the ability, I will never shovel snow on my own property.  I have veered off topic, my apologies.

The storm now heads out of town, like a drifter after eating that last piece of apple pie in the diner on the one night you would love that slice.  I'm that person behind the counter at midnight cleaning up the mess from that flaky goodness that got all over.  I'm drying off the exact change he paid with from the leftover condensation of the glass of ice water he requested to wash down his  small piece of heaven.  There is no tip, just the stale smell of a man who hasn't showered all month long (I'm not a pie eater, just the first metaphor that came to mind).

The Weekend

It's time to batten down the hatches!  Looks like Tropical Storm Fay will run right over me. Instead of using small strips of wood to cover joints in building ships, I'll be using the corrugated aluminium that was made to cover the windows of my humble abode.  I hope it doesn't hurt too bad.  

On another note, the Olympics are pretty good this year.  Although the women's marathon is doing nothing for me and the best hope for the USA just dropped out.  Well maybe it's just OK, I can't come up with anything else to write about (everyone is writing about the swimmer).    

I'll let you know how we fare.

If we were Taking Bets...

who would win?

The Duckbilled Platypus 

 

  or The Pelican?

It could be a battle to the death, or maybe a talent contest.  I'm open for any suggestions.

By the way, this entry begins my archive.  I'm a blogger.  

That Damn White Ball

Well, I ruined a nice day outside chasing a ball.  I do like to play golf, I just don't get to go very often.  Last time I played was last October, so naturally I didn't hit the ball very well very often.  The thing about golf is if you do well for a hole or two it's enough to make you endure another round another time.  So I will play again, I hope it's not another year before I do either.

The Olympics are on, how to those girls stay on that balance beam?  She bounces, flips and lands on this 4 inch wide beam.  How about that China man stabbing an American couple and then jumping to his death.  The news say he was upset with a recent divorce and a son whose in trouble.  This American and his wife had nothing to do with you and your problems.  I say, well I say nothing to you.  Coward.

Enjoy the Olympics, it's the only time in the next 4 years we will watch grown men/women throwing a ball into a net while swimming.  The water polo is worse than soccer.  One more thing, is it just me? Am I the only one who can't tell the difference between the men and women swimmers with these new suits they wear?  Just a question for those who read.

As much as....

Whew!  I'm glad I stopped that crap, vomiting from my keyboard.

I'm Not Artsy-Fartsy but This Is Kinda Cool

Thanks for the link Mom.

By the Way...

It's a time for us to take a stand. I don't ever ever want to see the cavemen on TV again. The commercials were funny for a while, the writers strike (I think) thankfully axed a proposed television show with them. Now they just need to go away, no cavemen doing the hustle and accusing me of doing the same. If I hear him mention "jazz hands" again I'll take up gardening.

Oh god, please take off the commercials, I hate dirty fingernails.

It's Time to Buy a Hat

I have been troubling myself. I've started this thing (my blog) and now I'm not sure what to illustrate through words. Maybe describe my day? No, no one really cares. Maybe start a novel involving many characters which cause havoc and others fixing the havoc? I'm pretty sure that my purely random mind (some call it A.D.D.) would never allow such a task to be completed. It would be a book that never ended ( like that song in your head now, "it's the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends...."). I could talk about..... you get the idea.

I'm thinking of becoming a baseball fan again. I live in Florida and I like (in general) the American League. I came from Michigan, so last year was pulling for (pause to check a fact on ESPN), scratch that, 2 years ago for the Tigers. My Dad is a BoSox fan so last year I was kinda rooting for them. I think that it's time to establish my rooting interest; (drum roll) it's the Rays. GO RAYS! now I have to buy a hat. That's the goal for the day, buy a Rays hat. It doesn't hurt that they are on top of their division. Maybe they can get to the playoffs this year. The Rays do have to hang in there against the Yankees and Red Sox, but as SportsCenter has told me they are up by 3. This does mean I am rooting for a man named Evan Longoria though, I'm not sure how that makes me feel. It's official, I'm off the fence.

My baseball question is as states; if the Tampa Bay Rays are 64-44 why does everyone say they are 20 games over .500? If you really think about it, they are only 10 games over .500. If you were to take 10 games off of their winning total and add those same 10 games to their loss total they would be .500. I just don't get it. Someone, please set me straight.